Friendship

Friendship is a funny old thing, isn’t it?

As i stumble through my 30s, I like to think I’ve finally got a grasp on this human interaction shit. For a start, I’ve learnt to accept that friends come and go, that’s just life. Other stuff I’ve learnt can be found below. Read it.

1. The friends you have at school, you probably won’t have in you 20s. The friends you have in your 20s, may not be around in your 30s and on and on and on.

The people I thought were nearest and dearest to me during my most progressive years are no longer my friends. Looking back, most of them weren’t very nice people though so I’m ok with this. Have I upgraded now I’m in my 30s? I like to think so.

2. The petty bullshit never goes away.

People will always suck. There will always be that one flaky friend you keep around out of a misplaced sense of loyalty. Similarly, there will always be that one friend of a friend who no one likes and that everyone moans about behind their back. Snide comments and petty squabbles do not disappear because you’re “adults” now. They just morph in to “justifiable comments on the state of humanity” or some shit.

3. You probably won’t have a best friend.

I am very lucky in that I do and I like to think/hope/pray that I am her best friend too. It’s more likely that you’ll have a set of 3-4 very close friends who you use for different areas of your life. This is ok.

4. You’ll spend more time with people from work than anyone else but will never admit that they are anything more than colleagues. 

These people will never be part of your friend group, even thought they will undoubtedly know more about you than anyone you’ve ever met.

5. You can ignore social media friend requests.

You can also unfriend/unfollow anyone you haven’t spoken to in over 6 months and not feel guilty about it. Repeat: You do not have to feel guilty about this. Also, real friends don’t ghost. True friends don’t just drop off the face of the earth. Like any respectful relationship, if it’s time to call it a day – be honest. If you’re on the receiving end of a “ghosting” friend, delete their number. They clearly don’t respect you so cut them out of your life.

6. Some of the best friends you’ll have, you may never meet. 

Social media plays a HUGE part in our lives these days. Chances are, you’ll have a lot of people in your life who you can turn to who aren’t actually IRL. If, like me, you have anxiety issues, the online world can be a safehaven. Just don’t forget about those IRL friends.

7. Couldn’t think of a header for this one so.. I’ve learnt to tell a true friend by how you interact if you haven’t seen each other for a while. I have certain friends who I only see once or twice a year. We all have lives and this is just how it goes sometimes. What’s important is that when we do manage to get together, it’s as if only a day has passed since we last saw them. That’s pretty ace.

8. Seeing your friends become parents/get married no longer fills you with dread.

The prospect of undertaking any of these life changing events in my 20s made me shake with fear. They seem like such grownup acts. Now I’m in my 30s, I’m overjoyed at the prospect of my friends popping out sprogs and getting hitched. It makes me unbelievably happy to see them so happy.

9. “Ovaries before Brovaries”

This never changes. The old adage that boys will come and go but sisters are forever is true. No matter what happens in life, the friends who have stuck with you this far will most like be there until the end. Make sure to show them that you appreciate them.

10. It’s all unknown.

Whoa, curve ball! The fact is, all of this is crap. Friendships are different for everyone. As long as you’re all happy and respectful of each other, that’s all that matters. No matter how old you are, ditch the crap and keep the gold. Besties don’t grow on trees, you know. 

Laters xx

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