A Festive Rant

Covent2

A happy picture to start the post.

Hey there. blog fans.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t actually plan a post for today. I thought about it but then I got bored and wandered off to look at all of the internet. Yeah, you heard me, all of it.

It’s been ages since I had a good blog rant though and so, in the spirit of the season (because what’s Christmas without a good row), I thought I’d indulge in that most base of emotions – anger.

Christmas is a time for giving and receiving as well as having and sharing (points if you get the reference) but sometimes it just makes me want to scream. Here, for your ocular pleasure, are the things I find most annoying about this time of year. Enjoy!

1. People. I split the world in to two groups, inside people and outside people. Inside people are the ones I know, be it close friends or someone I’m on nodding terms with. Outside people covers everyone else. I really don’t like outside people. At Christmas, there seems to be far more of them than normal. It worries me and often induces panic attacks should I find myself trapped in a swarm of the things. Yes, a swarm.

Ugh. Look at all those people just peopling around. Ugh.

Ugh. Look at all those people just peopling around. Ugh.

2. Shopping. I am not a born shopper. If and when I do shop, I like to have a clear goal in mind so I can get in and out with minimal human interaction (see my issues with “outside people” above). I was simply just not designed to amble lazily around shopping centres, which means I find Christmas shopping maddening. It irks me.

3. Self Service Tills. Ok, this hatred isn’t reserved just for the festive season and it’s not even the tills themselves that I hate. It’s, you guessed it, the people who use the tills. When Dante wrote about the 9 circles of hell, he wasn’t to know that we would end up creating a 10th here on earth. The instructions are on the screen people, it’s not rocket science.

4. The British Love of Drinking and Black Friday. Before we adopted the American tradition, Black Friday was a completely different event in the UK. For us Brits it was the last Friday before Christmas, generally a pay day, where everyone would get horrendously drunk. What a tradition! Now, it seems that we don’t restrict this to just one day and I’ve seen at least 4 people doing “the walk of shame” each week since mid-November. I like a drink as much as the next person but there is nothing about Christmas that makes me think I want to spend the whole month either drunk or hung-over. No. Thank. You.

Cider and Black, if you please.

Cider and Black, if you please.

5. Forced Jollity. I like to think I am a generally happy soul (as long as I’m a safe distance from outside people of course) but even I have to draw the line at some things. I’ve talked about this before here but there’s a lot of pressure to attend every social gathering you’re invited to over the festive season. If they’re are all things you want to do, great. If it’s something that you feel you’ve been a bit guilt-tripped in to, then say no! Christmas is a time for happiness and forgiving, not getting incredibly stressed because you think Brenda from accounting, who you’ve only spoken to twice, will take it personally if you don’t attend her cheese and nibbles party. Screw Brenda in accounting (sorry Brenda)! The reality is that she probably sent out a mass invite and doesn’t really expect you to show up – so don’t!

Phew! I feel a bit better for that. What about the festive season gets you in a flap? Let me know in the comments!

Laters xx

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3 thoughts on “A Festive Rant

  1. Tiny Grey Cat (@TinyGreyCat) says:

    Haha, I believe the reference is from Friends, when Joey is writing his minister speech for the wedding!
    I agree about the forced ‘fun’ and feeling obligated to do things/go places/see people. I’m pretty antisocial, so this year I’m only going to Hannes’ work party (which I’m anxious about) and putting my foot down about driving all over the place for various family members. There’s only so much I can do! x

  2. Kerri says:

    It’s always a win to sneak in a Friends reference! I’m a big fan of “Joey/Kerri doesn’t share foooood”

    I hate Christmas shopping, I enjoy shopping but I like to go midweek, close to pay day, really early/really late, when it’s raining and cold, so the least amount of people will be there. I hate people touching me in shops, I hate people looking at the same thing as me and I hate people who can’t decide quick enough whether they like the item they are looking at!

    I will be jolly in the comfort of my own home and that’s it 😉

    Let. It. Out. And. Breathe!

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